Think long-term and think strategically; create a marriage dissolution plan.

Step Four of Well-Meaning Advice

Stay focused on your focus.  Be open to change.

Whether you've been married 15, 20, or 30 years, unfortunately, your marriage is ending, and divorce is a business-like process of dividing and planning for your future and the future of your children if children are involved.  I do not encourage any of my clients to rush into a settlement.  However, the sooner you settle, the sooner the professional fees stop, and the sooner you can begin your new life.

There's a delicate balance between taking time to make a well-informed decision and holding on for emotional issues or seeking "justice." 

  • What is your "Road Map"?
  • What is your Plan?
  • Where and when do you want to end up?  

 

Stay focused on your goals and discuss them with your spouse if you have a mediated or collaborative divorce.  Do not discuss them with your spouse if you are in litigation, however.  Your attorney should be your guide here since strategy and negotiations are important if you litigate.

Consider a change in professionals if you do not see forward movement

If you have been in any of the processes for a long period and have not seen any forward movement, consider a change of process or the professionals. Delay tactics can financially strangle either spouse, and there may not be any property left to distribute.  For example in a collaborative divorce, if one spouse is not willing to negotiate in good faith or is unreasonable in his/her offers, litigation may be the best alternative. 

Change your approach if your spouse is not cooperating

For mediation families, if one spouse is a repeat no-show or is not providing relevant information, collaborative divorce is the next best thing.  Do not stay in one process if the process takes too long or progress is not realized.   Again, an experienced divorce attorney, skilled divorce mediator or collaborative attorney will inform you if you are "off track."

We can help, give us a call at 860-986-1141 and find out how.

Read all five steps

Step One: Well-Meaning Pieces of "Divorce Advice" that will save you time, heartache and money

Step Two: Prepare all financial records and be organized for the entire divorce process

Step Three: Choose the "right" divorce professionals for your toolbox. Use your toolbox appropriately.

You are here - Step Four: Think long-term and think strategically; create a marriage dissolution plan.

Step Five: Take great care of yourself, now more than ever. Manage your emotions, manage your health.